ATTITUDES - MADHURI DIXIT

"For someone to win it, someone else has to lose it!"

"Woh to number one heroine hai, kaise itni jaldi aayegi?" shoots back a technician at Filmistan Studios in reply to me query if Madhuri Dixit has arrived. It's only 9 a.m. and there's no activity in the studio. I smile at his cynicism and move slowly towards the make-up rooms for a stroll. I am surprised to spot her make-up man Ramesh Vardham making a phone call at the end of the corridor. He smiles at me before pointing to the adjoining room. I knock on the door hesitantly, unsure whether I should intrude. "Come in!" the familiar voice screams out and I enter to be greeted by the country's dazzling smile. Madhuri Dixit, sans make-up, sits comfortably in her chair with a file in her hands. She points to the sofa opposite her indicating that I should make myself comfortable.

She has been the first to arrive among the starcast. Rikkoo, her secretary-cum-producer of the film, has just left the room after discussing the day's appointments with her. She has been told that there's atleast an hour-and-a-half for her to get ready. I realise that this is the first time I meet her in a relaxed mood without a horde of people around her. "It's a nice feeling to be relaxed once in a while," she says in reply to my observation. "These are the times when I sit and assess myself both personally and professionally! In the mornings I'm fresh and I'm able to concentrate on minute things like cutting nails or checking on the split ends in my hair!" She moves around lazily in the room before settling back into her chair, opposite the mirror. In tandem with her previous statement she bends forward sudenly to examine her toe nails and makes a face. "My nail polish has chipped and I don't have this shade in my bag. How sad! Now I'll have to change the colour on all the nails." As I notice that her second toe overlaps her first toe on her feet she laughs, "They are in love with each other! In school I used to tell this to my friends. My toes have been like this since childhood. It hurts me a lot when I put on tapering footwear but kya karen...I have to managed somehow!"

Although there's time for the shooting to begin Madhuri doesn't waver from her schedule. She summons her make-up man and asks him to begin his work. I'm surprised to see the normally wary Madhuri being so forthcoming about information that was not asked of her. Somehow leisure seems to have eroded her reticence. "People have this tendency to slot stars," she explains seriously when I ask her the reason for her vocal mood. "They like to believe that stars are rigidly consistent in their behaviour. No one cares to realise that they are humans before they are stars. I am very introverted and don't speak much. But that doesn't mean I'm snooty and have no casual conversation with anyone. It all depends on the mood that you catch me in. If I'm doing two shifts and rigorous dance steps you can't expect me to have an idle chat or casual conversation with everyone. But people will not give me that leeway. Everyone will make judgements on one incident and soon it becomes an image!" She reflects a moment before adding, "Not that I mind the image! It keeps people away and gives me breathing space!" She is amused at her last statement and the famous smile lingers on her face long after she has finished laughing.

There's a knock on the door and the hairdresser announces a visitor. An elderly man enters the room with a couple of video casettes and some files. He has come from Madras to sign her for a film. She takes the tapes from him politely and promises to go through the scripts before asking him to get in touch with her secretary Rikkoo. But the man is insistent on continuing the conversation. He wants to narrate the script right then. Although her impatience is evident, she deals with him firmly without once losing grace. She sighs and smiles when he leaves the room. She puts the casettes he has given on the table. So will these tapes now go into the dustbin? I joke. She looks indignant. "Why? Why should I throw them? I know I'll not get to see them soon. But I make it a point to watch the films. You never know which film will appeal to you or challenge your acting skills I get atleast two of these everyday!" I look horrified at the thought that she watches these three-hour films meticulously despite not having a clue about the language. She laughs loudly, "If I had to sit for three hours for each film I'd have gone mad long back! The first fifteen minutes are enough for me to know what direction the story will take. After that it's either the stop button or the fast forward button! As for language, I have watched some amazing Malayalam and Tamil films without understanding a word. I think that's the victory of cinema. A film should be able to convey the basic emotions without the help of too many words!" She looks embarrassed at her passionate monologue on films and smiles sheepishly.

Although her smile can melt a thousand hearts her forbidding demeanor has often caused her image to be cold and unapproachable. And from my own experience I can say that she can be quite intimidating when she wants to be. She doesn't agree and insists that I give a specific instance when she was intimidating. "You can't accuse me of something and not give me the details. I'm sure you have misunderstood!" she says sharply. She doesn't let go till I divulge the details of the experience. She can't recollect the day or my meeting and I decide to change the topic with a question. "Do you have any friends?" She looks surprised at my question. "Of course I do," she insists vociferously. "They have all been with me since childhood. My schedule doesn't allow me to be in touch with them everyday but I make it a point to be in touch with them whenever possible. They are all very understanding. They don't mind these long communication gaps. Secondly we have a pact that we will never explain anything to each other. Although they are not from films they all understand me well. Strangely I haven't made a friend in a long time!" And before I can get into analysing the reasons she does so herself. "Perhaps because I don't feel the need to make friends, anymore. My family is so close-knit that I never felt the need to look for warmth outside!" But it could also be because she has closed herself to people, I remind her. She thinks for a while before answering, "Maybe...to an extent. Today after achieving so much fame I'm apprehensive about people's motives. I want to be sure that people want to be friends with me and not my fame!"

Does she suspect the motives of the press too? Why is she so held back from them? She laughs before answering. "It's not that I'm scared of them or that I dislike them. In fact I think the press has not been extra nice or extra nasty to me ever. I share a cordial relationship with them just the way I do, with my other colleagues. Perhaps I don't give too many interviews but that again is because I have nothing interesting to say. I can't spout philosophies, I can't analyse my moves in retrospect and more than anything else I can't speak ill of others. So I guess I am only covered by the media when my film is a hit or when my so-called position is in danger!"

Talking of her position one has always heard Madhuri saying that she isn't bothered about being called the No.1 or No.10. I take her candid mood as an opportunity to ask her if she wouldn't miss it tomorrow if the spotlight isn't on her anymore? Pat comes the reply, "No, I won't. After all every good thing or bad thing has to come to an end. For someone to win it, someone else has to lose it. Didn't Hemaji bow out to give place to Sridevi? In any case fifty years from today who will bother about positions or ranking? When we think of Vyjayanthimala, Waheeda Rehman, Nutan or Meena Kumari do we ever wonder who was the No.1 or No.2? We don't. When I entered this line I was sure of one thing. I wanted to make a name for myself and that I have achieved to an extent! The rest doesn't really matter!"

Her make-up man, who has almost finished the transformation from Madhuri to the Madhuri Dixit looks satisfied as he puts back his brushes. It's been half-an-hour since our chat began and the hustle-bustle in the studio has increased. The assistants have begun peeping into her room for their customary greetings and I know it's time for Madhuri to go back to her ivory tower. At precisely the same time the thought comes to my mind, she excuses herself for changing into her costume. When the door opens the picture is complete. "All set for another `Dhak Dhak...'" I ask a trifle lightly. "Yes. It's another fast number. I think and hope it will do well!" As we walk towards the stage where she is going to meet her director I shoot my last question, How does she manage to look as if she's enjoying herself everytime despite doing it for so many songs? "I better look that way..." she makes light of the question. "Isn't that what I'm paid for. It's the least I can do!"

We have reached the end of the Filmistan corridor and as she gets down the steps she is engulfed into a sea of fans waiting outside. Her staff makes way for her amidst pandemonium. She waves out to me before turning away and the expression of mirth says it all. She is at home with them!

- Niranjan Iyengar